ORGASM! 2: The Legend of Kira
by Her Sweetness
Summary: You thought it was finally over. You thought it would never return. But the Power of Orgasm has reached Raito Yagami and now... no one is safe. Crack!mini.
1. Girl, Put It Back!

A/N: _I'm baaaaaaack. YO! So, here we are, at the sequel to ORGASM! The Mello Chronicles. We'll see how this goes, all right? Cookies for all of you who can encourage me and handle the EXTREME brain-breakage._

_That said, let's rock._

* * *

**ORGASM! 2: The Legend of Kira**

**One.**

* * *

"Oh! A puppy! Oh, look, Raito, a puppy!"

"Look, Sayu-"

"Puppy!"

"We're not-"

"I said PUPPY-"

"_SAYU_!"

The young girl stopped in her tracks and turned around, eyes watering at the awful tone her big brother was using. Raito was breathing harshly, having had to scream at the top of his lungs just to get her to stop going on. Unfortunately, his scream had sounded like that you would hear from an abusive, drunk father and everyone on the street that day in downtown Tokyo stopped and glared at the brunet.

Raito sighed and tried to ignore Ryuuk's "hyuk"ing beside him. "Hey, Raito," he said, "your Kira is showing."

"Shut it," Raito grumbled.

Sayu pouted. "Raito, you yelled at me…"

"… I'm sorry, you know, but you're just being unreasonable." Raito walked up, closing the few feet of distance between the two. "Puppies are a lot of work."

"Mom _said _you have to be nice to me today."

"That's right, she said that," Ryuuk commented.

Raito ignored him. "Since when does 'nice' constitute buying small animals?"

"It'll be my birthday present, okay, Raito?"

"Your birthday's in June."

"Yeah."

"It's February."

"… _Yeah_, but… look yonder!" she shouted and pointed down the street where there was a man standing in a strange, sordid attire in front of a large cardboard box. There was a messily drawn sign that read: 'Puppys 4 SaLE.'

Raito squinted his eyes, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. "Oh, Sayu, that's some shady dealer who probably has flea-ridden - did you just say _yonder_?"

Sayu whirled around, clasping her hands together. "Please, big brother?"

"…"

Ryuuk laughed heartily.

Raito sighed and looked at his sister levelly. "We will go check it out. Nothing else, all right?"

"Okay!" she yipped and skipped down the sidewalk.

Raito and Ryuuk walked at length behind her. Ryuuk said idly, "You're going to cave and give her one of those pups, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. I'll let her pet them and once they fall dead from disease, she'll be disgusted and want something else. I know my sister," he said.

"… You're kind of weird."

"Yeah, yeah. Hush." Raito quieted when he approached the stand and his sister. He and Ryuuk looked into the box where there were about five puppies, all spotted and running around on a dirty towel placed on the bottom of the box.

"How much?" Sayu asked, excitedly bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Five dollars a pop," the man said proudly. His outfit was even stranger up close; his long, blond hair was all over his shoulders with twigs and leaves caught up in it and his purple, silky cape was in tatters. He stopped smiling when he noticed Raito looking at him with such contempt and then turned his head to him, trying to fake a smile. "Um… would you like one?"

"Just where did you get these puppies?" Raito asked.

"Oh, I found them."

"… Found them?"

"Yes, they're orphans. I found them on the street," he explained.

Raito paused for a second. "You _stole_ these puppies out of random people's yards, didn't you?"

The man blushed. "Uh, uh… why, no, I-"

"Raito, look at this one!" Sayu exclaimed, reaching in and picking up one of the smaller ones. She smiled at him and planted a kiss on his forehead. "I love him!"

"Sayu, that's _dirty_!" Raito groaned.

"No, really," the man said, "I washed them."

"With _what_?" Raito asked sharply.

"… saliva…"

Raito gasped.

"Big _brother_!"

"NO!" he wailed and took Sayu by the hand, leading her away and forcing her to leave the puppies behind. Ryuuk floated behind them, laughing to himself at how Sayu threatened to yell rape if Raito wouldn't let her go. He told her that wouldn't work three times in a row.

"… Hm? Hey, Raito, company," Ryuuk said, looking behind them.

Raito perked up and let go of Sayu's wrist, turning around to see that strange man abandoning his puppy stand and running after them. "Wait, wait," he called.

Raito looked at him shrewdly. "What do you want?"

"L-Listen," he panted, clearly an out of shape individual, "it would really help me out if you could buy one, sir… see, well, my name is Bon Bon and-"

"Good Lord, a stripper!" Raito announced, disgusted.

"No, no! A _magician_! I'm an out of work _magician_…"

Sayu whirled around. "Oh, a magician, really? Can you do tricks?"

"Yeah, I can."

Raito raised an eyebrow. "If you can do tricks, why are you out of work?"

Bon Bon sighed. "Truthfully, I don't know. Things just haven't gone well for me in the past year… And the _last_ job I had… well, I didn't even get paid! They just _used_ me," he sobbed. "So I decided to come to Japan where people might appreciate my talent more. But people have only shunned me and now I'm trying to raise money to go to the States. I've heard they have people like me there. So… please… buy my puppies."

Sayu had fallen asleep during Bon Bon's tales of misery and woe and was then leaning her head tenderly on her brother's hip. Raito sighed and looked from her to Bon Bon's watery eyes.

"Look," Raito whispered, so as not to wake up Sayu, "I'll give you ten bucks. Just keep the dogs, all right?"

"Oh… Oh, thank you, kind sir!" Bon Bon wailed.

"Shut up," Raito grumbled, digging around in his back pocket. He fished out a ten and handed it over.

Bon Bon held the bill as if it were a sacred jewel. "Your kindness…" he whispered, "you'll never know how much it means…"

"… It's ten dollars."

"It's a symbol to me of the rarity of goodness in human hearts…"

"Are you crying?"

"No one's ever been so kind to me!"

"I can see why."

Bon Bon lunged forward and grasped Raito's hands in his. "You're God to me!"

Ryuuk was on the floor in laughter. "How's that ego doin', Raito?" he asked through chuckles.

Raito frowned. "Just what're you doing to my hands?"

"I can't just leave with your money - please, take this gift I have to offer." Bon Bon closed his eyes and chanted, "To this man from me, I give him some fun. The power to pleasure - the ability to come!"

There was a small flash of blue glowing from their hands and then - nothing.

"… What did you just say to me?"

"Now, you have a completely special gift! Really fun at parties. Just wiggle your fingers and say 'orgasm!' and whoever you aim it at will be putty in your hands!"

"… Jesus…"

Bon Bon stood up and gave a curt bow. He smiled and then ran back to his puppy stand which was currently being graffitied by local punks.

Raito looked around. "Are we on candid camera?"

* * *

"Hey, Mom! Mooooooooom! Look at what Raito bought for me!"

Sayu had burst into the door when Raito had barely unlocked it and went sandstorming into the house with her brand new prepaid cell phone that Raito had purchased at one of the shops on the way home. When she had woken up, she had screamed and whined and accused Raito of sending the nice "puppy-man" away. She didn't at all believe his story about him being a desperate pervert and after the third time of trying to explain, Raito just gave up.

He heard his mother vaguely congratulate Sayu on getting her way with older men in the kitchen and he himself headed upstairs with Ryuuk casually floating behind.

"Well, that was pretty interesting," Ryuuk commented.

"Interesting? Going out with Sayu is a huge pain."

"No, no, I meant that guy, the magician."

Raito opened his bedroom door and went inside, watching as Ryuuk went through the wall. "Aw, come on, you don't seriously believe that, do you? He wasn't a magician, he was a con-artist."

"But you gave him money."

"… So?"

"So doesn't that mean you got conned?"

"… No. I gave it to him so he'd leave us alone. Obviously, he wasn't very good at it so I gave him a few bucks, what's the big deal?"

Ryuuk sat down on Raito's bed and looked at him as if he was withholding laughter.

Raito turned a little pink. "Look, just shut up!"

"Rai-tooo got coooonned," the shinigami sang.

The brunet plopped down at his computer chair, more than a little embarrassed at the situation. Had he really been conned? This was completely inexcusable and Raito was suddenly appalled that magic-puppy-perverts were on the loose in Tokyo.

He reached into his desk drawer and whipped out the Death Note onto his desk, taking out a pen at the same time.

Ryuuk perked up. "Oh? You're going to kill that magician?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, he was not a magician."

"You don't know that."

"I _do_ know that."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and both males in the room looked up. Raito hurried and stuffed the Death Note back into the drawer upon saying, "Who is it?"

"Raito, darling, it's me," squealed a voice.

Raito groaned. "Come in, Misa."

Ryuuk said, "You should really tell your mom to censor which scantily-clad blondes she allows in your room."

The door opened with a flourish and Misa was there in her gothic-Lolita attire with Rem floating dourly behind her. "What's that about blondes?" she asked.

"Hey, hey," Ryuuk whispered. "Try out your new power now, Raito. Come on."

"I don't _have_-"

"Just for fun!"

Raito groaned wearily and raised his hands to the blonde standing there without a clue of what was going on. He wiggled his fingers and said, "Orgasm."

Misa blushed furiously and giggled. "Oh, Raito, you naughty - _Ahhhhhh_!" she squeaked and fell to the floor in a fit of convulsions.

Rem gasped. "Misa!"

Raito blinked.

* * *

To be continued!

* * *

A/N: _Next time, we'll get some Task Force face-time. But here's the beginning! Now, you have to tell me…_

_WHAT are we bringin' back?_


	2. Not Just Knee Deep

A/N: _XD Thanks for the reviews, everyone. You all get another chapter for your trouble. _

* * *

**ORGASM! 2: The Legend of Kira**

**Two.**

* * *

"Misa? Misa, are you all right?"

"Wow, Raito, you could've waited until she sat down or something."

"You told me to do it then!"

"Since when do you listen to me?"

Misa opened her brown eyes at all of the yelling going on above her. The first thing she saw was Rem's scary face looming overhead and though she had grown accustomed to it always watching her while she slept, she still wished Raito would be _half_ as concerned.

She sat up and found herself on Raito's bed with everyone circled around her. The door had been closed as well. She supposed Raito wouldn't want anyone to see what had happened… But… just what _did _happen?

When Rem saw that Misa was okay, she turned to look at Raito menacingly. "Raito Yagami, what did you do to her?"

Raito blinked and looked past her to Misa. "Well, I believe she had an orgasm… which is completely odd because I thought-"

"Wait," said Rem thoughtfully. "What is an orgasm?"

Raito raised an eyebrow. "Oh are you _serious_?"

"Oh, oh!" Ryuuk raised his hand. "Let me explain to her, Raito! Hey, Rem, Raito gave me this talk a while back so I'll give it to you, okay?"

"Talk…?"

Raito scowled. "Ryuuk, you filthy liar!"

"Okay, so, orgasms are these things that humans feel during sexual activity where it feels like they're climbing stairways to heaven and when they finally reach the top, their insides explode into tiny bits of electric pleasure that-"

"I DIDN'T SAY ANY OF THAT!"

"Really? I could've sworn…"

Rem tilted her head. "So, it's pleasurable?"

Raito coughed behind his hand, regaining his composure. "Yes. Yes, it is."

"Well, yeah," Misa said, half-coherently, "I mean it felt good but… how did you do it from _across the room_, Raito? I mean, not that I mind, you can do it again if you want, I mean, you're just so wonderful already and I always thought of you as a Sex God so-"

"Misa, that's enough. Let me think," Raito said, turning around from the three of them to study the wall. It was obvious that Bon Bon actually did give him a special power so maybe then he _shouldn't _execute him like a common criminal. At least for a while. As for the problem at hand… what should he do with it? It's not like he could spend his days giving Misa orgasms at her command, as much as she'd love that. No, there had to be a use for this…

Maybe…

Maybe.

"I've got it," he murmured to himself. His expression grew excited and he whirled around to the others who were confused at his sudden enthusiasm involving orgasms. "All right, I know what to do!"

Everyone waited.

"We'll use this to cleanse the world. I have been thinking… for some criminals, I don't think immediate death suits them. Minor offenders. This is a good way to give them a shock. I shall be going out to stop crime before it even happens with this new power."

Ryuuk blinked. "… What?"

"So, let me see if I get it," Misa said, "you're going to give budding criminals orgasms to stop them from doing what they're doing?"

"Good, Misa, glad you're with us."

"Um…"

Rem seemed unimpressed. "That's ridiculous; if an orgasm is pleasurable, how is it going to stop them?"

"Aha. Observe," Raito said, winking, and raised his hands to Misa again. He wiggled his fingers intensely and said, "Orgasm! Orgasm! Orgasm! Orgasm! Orgasm!"

Misa gasped. "Raito, hey - AaaAaahhhHhhhhhh! Ohhhhhh," she moaned loudly and flipped off of the bed, sighing and mewling.

"Misa!" Rem called.

Raito didn't look over the bed like the two shinigami did. He did, however, smirk to himself like he was the greatest thing since cherry tomatoes and heard the thumping around Misa was doing on the floor. She was squirming around down there for a good five to seven minutes before she stopped and lay out flat on the floor, her hair mussed and her breathing ragged.

"See?" Raito preened with a smirk. "If you do it enough, it'll become tiresome and they won't feel like doing anything bad."

Ryuuk looked enlightened. "Oh!"

Rem seemed upset.

"W-Well," Misa said, crawling up onto the bed, grasping the sheet for support, "I'm with you all the way, Raito… whatever you need…"

"Oh, don't say _that_," Rem stressed.

Raito nodded. "Thank you, Misa. I'll be needing you tonight."

Her ears perked up.

"Not like that."

"Oh…"

"What's the plan, Raito?" Ryuuk asked.

"Tonight, I'm going out to put my plan into action. It's more of a hands-on thing, unlike the Death Note…" Raito frowned.

"What's wrong, Yagami? Not liking the idea of some exercise?" Rem brooded.

"Rem, be nice," Misa said and was obeyed, accompanied by a giggle from Ryuuk.

* * *

"Haha, what's with the gangster attire, Raito?"

"Shut up," said the brunet, buttoning up his jacket and pulling his beanie hat on tighter. It wasn't cold outside but Raito didn't want to be recognized and was taking precautions despite the darkness. Misa, however, was standing next to him in the pieces of clothe that sort of resembled clothes and Raito got the urge to throw her in a sack so no one would see her glimmering.

Raito began walking down the street and his crew of three followed him, Misa next to him and the shinigami behind their counterparts.

"Now, Misa, I want you and Rem to stay at the end of each street Ryuuk and I go down. You'll serve as lookouts."

"What?" Misa whined. "Why do I get left behind?"

"It's okay," Ryuuk comforted her, "you womenfolk should stay behind."

Rem fumed. "_Womenfolk_?"

"Let's go, Ryuuk-"

"Raito!" Misa screeched and latched onto Raito's sleeve. "You can't just leave me-"

"Orgasm."

"Ahhhhh…" Misa sank to the ground.

"Let's go, Ryuuk," Raito said casually and walked away. As they left the girls on the street corner, Raito mumbled, "We're scouting for mischief-makers. Ryuuk, your job is to tell me when you see some suspicious activity, all right?"

"So, we're like the Neighborhood Watch, then?"

"Sort of…"

"Only with orgasms at our disposal!"

"Do you _have_ to say that?"

"Oh! Look, Raito!"

"What, what?" Raito whirled his head around and looked in the direction that Ryuuk was pointing. Up on a house just in front of them, there was a figure worming around on the roof by the chimney. He looked as if he were trying to find a way in and Raito turned to the house, his fingers raised.

"Can you even reach that far?" Ryuuk asked.

"We'll find out. Orgasm," he whispered.

The man on the roof halted and then began to shiver and shake. Raito grinned and said his magic word five more times. By the time he had stopped, the man had fallen to the tiles of the roof and was quickly rolling down the slope of the house and did a spinning-flip off of the drainpipe and fell with a loud bellow into the rose bushes below.

Silence.

"Uh… aren't you going to ask if he's okay?"

"No. Let's go, there's much more to do," Raito said and continued down the sidewalk.

"Right… okay then…" Ryuuk followed Raito, looking over his shoulder and noticed that the man did not come out of the rose bush.

* * *

"Oh, look over there."

"Hm?"

Across the street, there was a large patch of green grass that was underneath a large oak tree. In front of it was a big white sign, reading, 'No Trespassing.' A young man was walking around on the grass, just seeming to be enjoying such a nice night out under the stars.

Raito raised his hand.

"Um, is that a real crime?" Ryuuk asked. "It's just grass."

"Yeah, but our objective is to get people before they can move up to more intricate crime."

"Err… okay."

"Orgasm."

"WAAAAAAHHHH!" came a piercing scream from the young man and his knees buckled and he fell to the ground.

Raito and Ryuuk squinted, plugging their ears.

"Heh heh, we found a screamer," Ryuuk remarked.

* * *

"You know what I've been thinking?"

"What's that, Ryuuk?"

"You should have a car, for this reason exactly. It'd be so much more fun to roll out in a Hummer with our speakers blaring and delivering orgasms like that. Don't you think?"

"… I'm limiting your DMX exposure as of now, Ryuuk."

"Aw…"

The two of them had seemed to have forgotten about their deal with the girls as they were very far away from where they had dropped them off. They came out of the suburbs to a main street with a corner store on the other side and a four-way intersection just a few yards away.

Ryuuk sighed. "See, all these people have _cool cars_."

"Enough, Ryuuk," Raito scolded mildly, simply out of habit. He looked around the street mildly, on the lookout since Ryuuk was too busy sulking. Close to the intersection, an elderly couple were trying to cross the street, going extremely slow off of the crosswalk.

Raito groaned.

Ryuuk regarded him. "What?"

"Jay-walkers."

"Where?"

Raito pointed.

"... Oh. ... OH. Hey, come on, Raito, they're old, you know-"

"Justice spares no one. Orgasm. ... Orgasm, orgasm."

"Hey, wait until they cross the _stree_-"

But it was two late and the two octogenarians fell all over their canes and knocked them from under themselves. Their canes went skittering away and the two of them met with the concrete directly. The old woman was wailing as if some young punk was attacking her and the gentleman she was with sounded like a horse being made into glue. Cars swerved frantically around what they thought to be a pair of breakdancing old fools in the middle of the street. Horns blared. People shouted, "What are you DOING?"

Ryuuk stared, wide-eyed as the chaos continued and was too fascinated to even laugh.

Finally, they had stopped orgasming. This was determined by Raito when they stopped flipping and flopping around on the dirty street and instead just lay there on their backs like turtles.

"... Guess they'll be like that for a while, huh," Ryuuk observed.

"Guess so. Someone will help them up in a while."

"But there's no one around."

"Come on."

* * *

Raito and Ryuuk made their rounds around the neighborhood and ended up accosting over a hundred people in a short time of a few hours. Raito was a very good shot, Ryuuk noted, he got people in trees, people running around in the park and even hit groups of teenagers driving. Ryuuk said to Raito after the lot of them crashed into a fire hydrant that something worse than drunk driving was orgasm-induced driving.

When they arrived back on Raito's street, under the streetlight that they had left Misa and Rem at, the two girls were beyond upset but all it took was a grin from Raito to calm Misa down.

"So?" she asked, excited. "What happened? Did you get many people?"

"Yes, a few."

"A few, he says," Ryuuk laughed boisterously and waved his arms about, nearly smacking Rem in the face. "Raito went into sniper-mode, completely! He was shooting people out of trees! He was like Magic Johnson with those fingers of his. Way more cool than the Death Note, I think."

Raito frowned. "Well, it was effective. Not only were they immobilized for a short period of time, but they seemed completely frightened and ran away from the activity they were doing. I'm hoping that this will be like shock treatment."

"_Pleasurable_ shock treatment," Rem stressed. "This is going to end badly."

"I know what I'm doing," Raito said defensively.

* * *

The next morning, needless to say, Raito was quite fatigued. A night of giving strangers orgasms does that to a teenage boy. But he had to put on a cheerful face because he had a full day of working with the Task Force and couldn't afford to let his guard down, not in front of L, whose blank eyes saw everything.

He trekked his way across town to the current hotel where the Task Force and L were working on the Kira Case. He entered the assigned room with Ryuuk floating silently behind him.

"Hello, everyone-"

"Raito!" Matsuda shouted, dropping the stack of papers he was carrying and scrambling over to the door. "You won't believe what happened! It's insane!"

"What's wrong?" Raito asked, looking around. He shut the door behind him and reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged by the hand by Matsuda over to the wide-screen television in front of which L sat crouched in an armchair. Everyone else seemed too busy to even inform Raito of what was going on, running around the room like chickens without heads, but maybe that was because Matsuda just wasn't as good at the job.

L looked up from the television, his thumb lodged under his teeth. "Oh, Raito, you've arrived."

"Yeah, I'm here. What's the problem? Is it a breakthrough on the case?"

"Of sorts..." L turned his attention back to the TV. Raito did the same.

_"-Sarah Kimimoto from Channel 7 News, reporting from downtown Tokyo in the Kento region. Last night, at approximately nine PM to midnight, a series of mysterious orgasms occurred on civilians. Over fifty people were seriously injured and the injuries range from scrapes and bruises to broken limps and concussions. Ganzo Tsukasa, an eighty-nine year old resident of the area, has this to say..."_

_"W-Well, me and the Missus were just trying to get home after our bi-weekly jazzercize classes last night... all of a sudden, something I haven't felt in over twenty years hit me... it... it was..."_

_"Please, sir," said Sarah Kimimoto, "don't upset yourself."_

_"Now my wife... she won't come out of the bathroom... it was really embarrassing for us both."_

_"I understand you were almost run over?"_

_"Multiple times..."_

_"Tragic. This case and many more were recorded at the police station but they don't have a clue what to do or who's causing this. It is rumored that the famed murderer Kira might be behind this, opting to pleasure instead of murder. His way of repenting? The world may never know. Back to you, Bob."_

_"Thank you, Sarah, for that heart-wrenching story... Now, the LOTTERY NUMBERS!"_

"It's been on the news all day," Matsuda said, in awe. "What do you think, Raito? Is it really Kira? Is he repenting? L thinks-"

"No," L said. "I want to hear what Raito thinks about this first."

Raito blinked. He hated being put on the spot like that. "Well... I don't think it's Kira. The Second Kira, maybe, but I don't think... orgasms... are Kira's style."

Aizawa dumped a stack of papers on one of the coffee tables. "What I want to know is what kind of weird power we're up against NOW! We've been swamped all morning with filed complaints. Thing is, none of these people have done ANY crimes so I don't see how it could be Kira."

L nodded silently.

"Oh, that's right," Matsuda said thoughtfully. "Kira only punishes criminals... maybe he is repenting..."

"I don't think so," L said finally and stood up from his chair.

"Really?" Matsuda asked.

Raito looked at him levelly. "What do you think is going on, L?"

"Oh, I know what's going on." L cracked a little smirk and approached Raito with sugar coating his lips. Raito blinked and took a hesitant step back as L got too close to his face.

"What are you-"

"Bon Bon."

Raito's eyes widened a little.

L tilted his head. "Does that sound familiar, Raito?"

"No. What is that, a candy?"

Ryuuk laughed in the background and said, "Smooth."

L looked at Raito carefully and walked around him, "all up in his personal bubble," as Ryuuk would have said. Raito stood there, looking like a sad rubber duck that belonged to a strange, perverted child. When Raito did nothing of interest, L lost interest in harassing him for the moment and went to sit down again. He thought, _Maybe not..._

Raito let out a small sigh under his breath. How close! So, L had encountered Bon Bon before... Still, Raito was completely in the clear and there was no reason to suspect him at the moment. The attacks were scattered throughout the Kento region. Raito suddenly got the urge to attack L himself. How dare he automatically ASSUME it was him! The nerve.

So, Raito spread out his fingers on both hands inside his pockets and made them point at each person in the room, including himself. He whispered as lowly as he could, "Orgasm."

There was a second in between and then - everyone let out a low moan and sank to their knees.

Raito himself was on the floor writhing, and opened one eye just enough to see L on the floor beside him, stretching out his back and taking in shallow breaths, his dark eyes glistening with ecstasy. He reached a shaky hand across the carpet and grasped Raito's tie, pulling their faces close.

"I-I... know it's you... _Rai_... Raito..."

... God, why did he have to moan his _name_ like that?

Fucking sexy adversaries.

"W-We're under ATT_AAAAAAAAA_CK, ohhh," Matsuda moaned as he squirmed on the carpet. He was all whirling limbs, a decidely very _mobile_ orgasmer. "Call the poliiiiiice..."

Aizawa grunted, shutting his eyes. "We _are_ the p-police..."

Raito gritted his teeth.

Fucking stupid co-workers.

* * *

To be continued!

* * *

A/N:_ How're you liking it? Like this chapter, the next one will be long, maybe even longer. XD So hold tight because we have one hell of a lot left._

_I wanna hear screams for the next chapter._


	3. Shut Up and TAKE IT!

_A/N: __And here we have the final installment! Woo-hoo!_

* * *

**ORGASM! 2: The Legend of Kira**

**Three.**

* * *

Aizawa was the first to recover, him being the sturdiest of the ones there what with Mogi out on errands. He dusted off his suit and tried to look professional however embarrassed he may have been. "Well," he coughed, "that was… unexpected…"

"Ah… ah…" Matsuda was still laying on the floor, the back of his hand to his forehead as if he were a fainted woman in distress. He was staring up at the ceiling in afterglow when Aizawa kicked him in the side. "OW!"

"Get up, you idiot, don't enjoy it!"

Matsuda scrambled up to his feet. "But… I mean, it was-"

"Don't even _say_ it."

"GOOD HEAVENS!"

Everyone paused and turned around, looking towards the closed bathroom door. There was some thrashing around heard and multiple toilet flushes. They all regarded each other until L said, "Oh, the Chief was in there…"

Raito's eyes rounded. "Wha-"

The door burst open and everyone was greeted with the peaceful scene of a petrified looking Chief with his pants and underwear around his ankles and sweat cascading down his cheeks and quivering old legs.

Matsuda and Raito shielded their eyes.

"Chief, your pants!" Aizawa shouted.

But the Chief didn't heed Aizawa's warning and went waddling across the carpet, scared out of his wits and ended up tripping over his belt, falling flat onto the carpet.

L overlooked the Chief with a thoughtful thumb in his mouth. "Chief, are you all right?"

"No, I'm not all right! I had an orgasm just now!"

Everyone cringed.

"_DAD_," Raito groaned.

"What went _on_?"

"Kira strikes again," Matsuda wailed and Aizawa smacked him for it.

Suddenly the door to the room opened with Mogi and a sack full of groceries. He was smiling initially and then, upon looking at all of the sweating and panting and Chief on the floor with his pants down, he frowned again.

* * *

At sunset, Raito was allowed to go home. His father, however, along with the other Task Force members stayed at the hotel to deal with further complaints. It was times like these that Raito was very happy he was still a minor.

Raito shut his bedroom door behind him and went over to sit in his chair, turning on the TV for Ryuuk's viewing pleasure.

"Wow, that was a lot of fun, Raito," Ryuuk commented as he sank down on the bed.

"Yeah, fun for you."

"So, why'd you give yourself an orgasm too?"

Raito rolled his eyes. "If I was the only one without one, I'd be found out. It's not like the Death Note so I didn't see any problem with it."

"… How was it?"

"…" Raito turned around with a glare. "What do you mean how was it? It was… it was fine, I didn't hemorrhage or anything so I'd say it was a successful orgasm - what the fuck am I saying?"

"Well, because…" Ryuuk looked down to the bed sheet and picked at a loose thread with his nail. "Because…"

"What? What's wrong?"

"… I want to know what it feels like, too."

"… Huh?"

"An orgasm."

"What about it?"

"I want one."

"…"

"Aw, don't look at me like that!"

"How else CAN I look at you?" Raito asked, voice thin and shrill. He was beginning to sweat. "I-I mean, that's insane-"

"You gave one to L."

"Yes, but I-"

"And you _hate _him."

"I know but-"

"Just once?" Ryuuk asked, giving Raito his version of Sayu's puppy eyes. They weren't all that effective but Raito did understand the want to experience what everyone else was… and he supposed it wasn't too fair to leave Ryuuk out of the picture…

Raito cleared his voice and swiveled around in the chair. He raised his fingers and Ryuuk bounced around excitedly. "O-Orgasm," Raito grumbled.

Ryuuk looked at Raito expectantly for a second and then Ryuuk's eyes widened and he fell on his side without a sound and lay there, eyes open, unmoving.

Raito blinked. "… Ryuuk?"

"…"

"Oh God, Ryuuk?" Raito scrambled up from his seat to examine his shinigami. Maybe shinigami weren't supposed to have orgasms, maybe it was a secret way to kill them, maybe -

"EEEEEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaAAaaaaaAKKKKK!" Ryuuk howled and flipped over on the other side, scaring the living daylights out of Raito. Ryuuk went into tremulous convulsions all over the bed, causing it to bounce and shake against the headboard and finally against the wall, causing banging sounds.

Raito began to panic. "Shh! Shh! Stop that, Ryuuk, my mom-"

"NYAAAAAAAAH!"

"Oh God, Ryuuk," Raito wept into his hands.

This went on for another ten minutes and Raito was in the middle of tearing off a sleeve of his shirt to gag Ryuuk if only because he couldn't stand the screaming when Ryuuk stopped his movements.

Raito looked up from his torn sleeve. "Ryuuk? Is it over?"

Slowly, Ryuuk turned his head to the side and expelled a remarkable quantity of thick, white fluid on Raito's bed from his mouth.

Raito was all eyes.

Ryuuk sat up then, wiping the substance off of his mouth with the back of his hand. "WOW. That was amazing! It was like-"

"My _sheets_," Raito wailed. "Get off, get off, I have to save them-"

"Raito, what was that banging?" came a voice from the door. And as mothers are known for, Raito's mom came barging in. She looked around the room and blushed furiously at the white fluid on his bed. "O-Oh, dear, you're busy, I'll be back later."

The door shut.

Raito fumed. "Aw, come ON!"

* * *

About an hour later, Raito had changed his bedding and was in a slightly better mood.

"You sure are feminine, Raito," Ryuuk observed.

"I _like_ my things and I'm not happy when they get ejaculated all over." Raito looked up with a deadly glare in his eyes. "_Ryuuk_."

"Aw, I apologized!"

"Yeah, yeah." Raito stood back from the freshly made bed and sighed, looking about the room. "Well, I guess we should-"

The cell phone on the computer table buzzed. Raito sighed, knowing who it was and went to answer it. "Hello, Misa."

"Raito! Should I come over now? Are we going out to fight crime again tonight?"

"Hmm, no, actually I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I won't be going out tonight."

"AW! Poor baby! I'll be right over with some hot soup-"

"'Kaythanksbye."

Raito hung up and looked over at Ryuuk. "Come on, let's leave before she gets here."

* * *

"Where'd your hat go?"

"I don't feel like wearing it _all the time_, Ryuuk."

"Ah."

"Ryuuk, I've devised an ingenious plan to get us around town quicker. If we spread out the attacks, it'll be harder for L to trace it back to me, don't you think?"

"Well yeah…"

"You can fly, can't you?"

"Uh huh…"

"Then let's travel that way."

Ryuuk blinked down at Raito in the blinding beam of the streetlight. "Are you serious?"

Raito frowned. "_Yes_. You _owe_ me, I gave you an orgasm!"

"Okay, okay. It's just… it's not a request I hear often." Ryuuk sighed and unfurled his big black wings. He turned around and crouched down so that Raito could climb on his back. He felt Raito shimmy up and finally sit in a semi-comfortable position. There wasn't even a second before Ryuuk jumped up and launched himself into the nighttime sky.

Raito shielded himself from the wind at first and squinted until they got at a high enough altitude where it wasn't so bad. Raito slowly lowered his arm and looked down at the city below.

"This is great, Ryuuk, now we can really work to our advantage."

"Yeah, I guess - Hey, look! That guy's harassing that girl down there!"

Raito perked up. "Where, where?"

"There."

"… Oh! Circle in, Ryuuk, so I can get a clear shot!"

* * *

"Okay, okay. This time you be the horrible molester and I'll be the helpless farmer's wife."

The young man looked over at his girlfriend with skeptical eyes as they walked home. "I dunno, these sex games of yours are kind of weird… why can't you just be happy with us as who we are?"

"Don't psychoanalyze _me_, Thomas. Just get to molesting."

"… Baby, on the street?"

"Please!"

He sighed and turned to her, beginning to grab her and grope and his girlfriend yelled and failed around wildly. Suddenly, something swooped overhead like a large bird and the trees above them shook. The young man then fell to his knees, gasping and moaning and a noticeable wet spot appeared on his jeans.

"Aw," she complained, "you came too soon!"

* * *

"Raito, do you really think it's a good idea to give rapists orgasms? Won't that just encourage them?"

"… Ryuuk, leave the thinking to me."

"Okay. But, um, Raito?"

"What?"

"You know that when we're flying like this, people can only see you hovering in mid-air, right?"

"… Aw, shit."

"For a genius, you sure miss a lot."

"Shut up. Get us higher, people down there might recognize me!"

"Betcha you wish you had that hat now, huh?"

"God, shut _up_."

Ryuuk obeyed and lifted them higher into the air. It was a mite bit colder up there but at least no one below could see them. Raito relaxed a little bit, only until a plane came towards them and he began to freak out.

"Ryuuk! Ryuuk, dip lower!"

"Okay, don't pull on my hair!"

* * *

"This is Flight 216 to control. There seems to be a flying Abercrombie and Fitch shopper over the Kento area. What should we do?"

"Ignore him. You know how kids are these days."

* * *

Eventually, Raito's plan of flying over the city came to an end when he didn't want to risk sticking out so much anymore. He and Ryuuk continued their night on foot as per usual and the next morning, Raito was beyond tired. He figured staying up all night writing in a notebook was one thing and causing mayhem all over the city was quite another. Still, it was worth it if it would build a better world. He went to the Task Force once again, with Ryuuk following as per usual.

He opened the door with a, "Hello, everyone," but it was barely heard over Aizawa's yelling.

"Matsuda, how could you say such a thing?" he shouted at the younger detective.

Matsuda cringed back. "Uh, well, I mean it's not like he's killing anyone… he's spreading joy…"

"What the hell is joyful about forced orgasms?"

"Calm down, Aizawa," the Chief said, placing a strong hand on Aizawa's shoulder. "You know how Matsuda is."

"Yeah…"

Matsuda sweatdropped. "Uh, what's that mean…?"

Raito walked in further. "Hello… what's going on?"

"Oh, Raito," Matsuda said, looking over Aizawa's shoulder.

"There's been a break in the case," the Chief informed Raito.

"Really?"

"Yes," said L, sitting over in front of the television. Raito looked up and watched as Sarah Kimimoto walked up to a person across the street on the television screen.

"_-tell us just what happened here, sir?"_

_The young man nodded shakily. "Yeah, sure… well, me and my girlfriend were walking here last night… all of a sudden… something like a human flew right overhead and a second after that I… well, you know, I came."_

"_Please, sir, children are watching."_

"… _Uh, right. Sorry. Well, I 'released' then. Anyway, now I'm convinced, it's NOT Kira doing these things. Kira can't FLY. So it's for sure now, Batman has returned."_

_Sarah nodded seriously and turned back to the camera. "There you have it, folks. Batman has returned and is now bent on giving orgasms to civilians. For what reason, we know not and it's really not our place to question him. Back to you, Bob."_

Raito's eyes were as wide as saucers.

Ryuuk was laughing behind him raucously. "You're Batman! I told you people could see you last night, Raito."

"Quite interesting, how people react," L said calmly.

"Aw man, this is amazing! Batman!" Matsuda smiled excitedly next to Raito. He turned to the brunet then. "What do you think Raito? Isn't Batman the coolest?"

Raito blushed furiously. "There _is _no Batman!"

"Oh really?" Ryuuk asked.

"But it's been on the news all day, everyone had seen someone flying in the sky last night where the attacks took place," Matsuda explained.

Aizawa sighed, "It could have been a bird…"

"Who mistakes a bird for Batman?" the Chief wondered aloud.

"Average people," L mumbled. He looked up, his big eyes scanning Raito. "So, Raito, if it wasn't Batman, who was it? Does Kira fly?"

"W-Why ask me, I don't know. If he can kill without being at the scene of the crime, why can't he fly too?"

"I was under the impression that Kira was rather intelligent. If he allows all of downtown to observe him flying through the air like a happy butterfly, he is less intelligent than Matsuda."

Ryuuk hissed excitedly, "BURN!"

Raito's face flushed with anger.

Matsuda continued to smile.

"What's wrong, Raito?" L asked, hiding his smirk behind his thumb. "You seem upset."

"I'm not upset," he said through gritted teeth.

"Did I insult you in someway? Is Batman a childhood hero of yours?"

"_No_-"

The Chief nodded and said wistfully, "I remember your Batman pampers, Raito. You wore them until you were five, right?"

Aizawa and Mogi snickered to themselves and L chomped on a cookie. Just as Raito was trying to find something to say, the television screen once again caught their eye. Raito stopped and said, "Turn up the volume!"

L blinked and did as was requested.

_There was a young girl standing on the street corner in front of a large crowd that had gathered there. Sarah Kimimoto pushed the microphone in front of the girl's face and asked her what she made out of the recent attacks of Batman._

"_Well, I believe that they are not attacks. I think they are Batman's way of relieving our pain after the Kira incidents. Batman is a hero, a savior! We should worship him! All hail BATMAN!"_

_Everyone joined in then, all chanting._

"_BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!"_

_The girl screamed shrilly, "Down with KIRA!"_

_Sarah Kimimoto gasped as the crowd became unruly, harassing the cameramen and sticking their mugs in the camera to get their message across. The camera that managed to get away followed Sarah as she ran for her life, bravely shouting out her report, "I-It's pandemonium here in Kento! THE ERA OF BATMAN HAS COME!"_

_The screen went to blue and a loud beeping sound took place._

Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "These people are crazy."

Raito hid the utter horror he was feeling bubbling up in his throat. All of his hard work just to get this far, to have Kira be accepted by even a percentage of the population… and now _Batman_ was going to take it away from him?

L was watching as Raito tried to mask his emotions. "Now, Raito, won't you confess? You're Bat - I mean, Kira."

Raito growled under his breath and then shouted, "I am not Kira and I don't give random people ORGASMS because giving people ORGASMS is as sick and disgusting as public ORGASMS in general! If you want to blame me for ORGASMS across town go ahead but I did not give you an ORGASM!"

All that time, Raito had been wiggling his fingers in his pockets but unintentionally missed everyone except L and himself.

They both groaned and fell to the floor once again, L tipping over in his chair and falling on top of the young man. L gasped and arched his back into Raito beneath him and Raito groaned at the friction of their groins rubbing together separated by rough fabric. L opened his eyes briefly to see the younger man writhing under him and, needing something to hold onto in this fit of passion, grasped a handful of Raito's amber locks in his fist and pulled while Raito continued to undulate his hips to a pace L had set.

Ryuuk, after staring for a while, broke out into a silent chorus of "Sexual Healing."

Aizawa and Mogi politely turned away and Matsuda's nose bled rather freely. The Chief wondered aloud, "Why is he always doing things like that?"

Aizawa fought the maddening urge to shout the obvious at his superior but held back.

When the orgasms ended, the men were panting and sighing on top of each other. As soon as Raito regained coherence, he hurriedly kicked L off of himself and scrambled to his feet.

L stood up slowly and dusted himself off. "You need not hide your feelings, Raito."

"F-Feelings?" he shouted defensively.

"… I mean about the case."

"… Oh. Well I don't have any feelings about that either! I don't care about Batman!" And with that, Raito turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, Ryuuk floating hastily behind him.

"What's wrong, Raito?" Ryuuk asked as they hit the street.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong!" Raito shouted like the emotional teenager he was and people he past on the sidewalk looked at him strangely. "This whole thing has gone too far! I can't let my persona as the orgasm-giving Batman out shadow all I've worked for to gain Kira's acceptance to the world! This has to end."

"How?"

"I'm finding that guy, Bon Bon, and telling him to take the power _back_."

"… Oh."

"What's the 'oh' for?"

"Well, you know…"

"No, I don't. Just spit it out, I'm very upset right now."

"You should get a t-shirt that says that."

"Ryuuk!"

"Okay! Well, uh, I was wondering if you could give me-"

"No, Ryuuk."

* * *

Eventually, Raito and Ryuuk were back in front of the strip mall that they had met Bon Bon at a few days prior. People lined both sidewalks and it was hard to see but, after walking a little further, they saw the familiar sign up in front of that cardboard box. Raito went running up to it and found its owner standing there as if he never moved.

"Bon Bon," he said, glaring. "I need-"

"Oh! It's you! Hey there, _Batman_," he said, grinning a little, "how's life treating you?"

Raito flushed. "I'm _not_ Batman, shut up before someone hears you. Listen… I need you to take this power away from me right this moment."

Bon Bon looked shocked. "What? But _why_?"

"WHY? It's ruined my reputation! I can't be taken seriously if the whole world thinks I'm a two-dollar whore with superpowers! Take it back!"

"But…"

Raito growled and shoved his hand down into his pocket. "Look, I'll _pay_ you!"

Bon Bon blinked as Raito shoved a ten dollar bill at him and then looked at the magician without an ounce of patience. Bon Bon sighed and shrugged his shoulders sadly. Why did this always happen? He shook it off and grabbed Raito's hands in his. "Back and forth, from hand to hand, return this awesomeness to me again."

There was a blue glow…

And then nothing.

Raito blinked at his hands and then turned his hands up to Ryuuk and shouted, "Orgasm!" for good measure.

Ryuuk blinked and then fell to the floor, motionless.

Raito gasped. "YOU TWO BIT CLOWN, I STILL HAVE IT!" He shook Bon Bon by the collar and began to foam at the mouth.

Ryuuk lifted his head and winked. "Gotcha."

"…"

Bon Bon wet himself.

* * *

That night, Raito and Ryuuk were lounging in the teen's room, watching the news for updates on the Batman Case.

"_-you are?"_

"_Ahem. My name is Mikami Teru and I believe that the citizens of the world are being too hasty in thinking that the culprit behind the orgasms is Batman. How do we know this is not Kira? Devine justice goes both ways…"_

Raito smiled and motioned to Ryuuk. "I like this guy."

"… _and further more - h-hey-"_

_Matsuda pushed him out of the way of the camera and lifted a giant foam finger above his head with 'Batman' spray painted over the word 'Titans.'_

"_BATMAN FOREVER," he cheered._

"…" Raito pulled out the Death Note. "Okay, that's it."

* * *

End!

* * *

A/N: _Thank you everyone who reviewed. XD Hopefully, this was entertaining. Keep watching my page for new things and, also, go to my page and vote on the poll, all right? Thanks again!_

_See you next time._


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